Feeling like you are in funkytown this time of year? While some may feel like “it’s the most wonderful time of the year” others feel like a holiday blues traveler. The season is filled with magic, sparkles, family, friends, food and light– but amongst all of that can also lead to social anxiety, stress, obligation, resentment and jealous feelings.
December in general, can also leave us feeling burned out and downright depressed. *raises hand*
I know myself well and can anticipate the holiday burnout and crash before it arrives. Yet year after year, it still hits me. Yes, me. The self-proclaimed balanced woman who does yoga, meditates, sits with her magic and now is living each day in my little dream job world.
I get better, each year at expecting and knowing when its coming and what to do when it gets here. And here is what works for me: do nothing. Let myself off the hook.
I’m constantly pushing the envelope, creating and serving others all year long. December SHOULD be a time of pushing just a little bit more–being it the busiest shopping season of the year. However, the last thing I want to do is create and market and be in your inbox every other day, selling. Ew.
So– I let myself settle in funkytown for about 2 weeks. That’s my limit. I binge watch tv (I never, ever really watch tv), I buy and read all the tabloid magazines I can get my hands on. I paint my nails. A lot. I order a lot of books from Amazon. And I marinate in new material. If I feel like cooking, I cook. If I feel like treating myself with carry-out every other night, I do that. And I don’t feel bad about it.
I typically don’t create- until I feel I’m good and ready. Trying to create when you aren’t feeling especially creative is the worst. And, it creates crap nobody wants. Double ew.
We are so hard on ourselves, myself included. Whether your funkytown strikes in December or July or somewhere in between- notice when you need to chill the fuck out. Then do that. What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another.
So what makes me feel better? I do some or all of the below. Most of the time, it works. It might perk me up for the hour, for the day or be just the think I need to get in the holiday spirit. The Grinch isn’t stealing my christmas #thankyouverymuch. I’m in charge, I determine and make choices on how I want to feel, and so should you. But don’t just talk about them. Actually, do them. As Danielle LaPorte says “love your sadness, it won’t last.”
Try these things to start feeling more jolly inside:
Listen to a short, guided meditation each morning. Short. Guided. Not alone and 20 minutes. The last thing I feel like doing when I’m feeling shitty is another “thing” and I certainly don’t need to feel bad about “not meditating” or not “doing yoga”. I typically have a pair of earbuds right on my bedside table, and before my feet even hit the floor to go pee- I’m listening to Deepak or Oprah or someone with a soothing voice. Starting your day off with positivity is SO important. More to come on that this year 😉
Re-do and decorate your sacred space according to the season, or even how you are feeling. I do a little altar renovation whenever I’m not feeling what is currently up there. Your altar should…..ALTernate. It should reflect what you need/wish/are working on and want to call in. Feeling blue? Feeling lost? Bring in some citrine for positivity and angel aura quartz to connect with your angel guides. Light a new intention or affirmation candle. Gather some of nature outside and bring it inside (pinecones, rocks, branches) and if you are FEELING crafty, glitz them up a bit with some metallic paint. Purchase a new statue, crystal or totem to keep around. Treat yourself. You deserve it.
If gathering with others makes you want to run and hide- then run and hide. You have my permission. But please, find a balance. You know damn well when you are having social anxiety and when you don’t feel like washing your hair. There’s a difference. Allow yourself the time and space to be alone- but if you are going to be alone- then you better damn enjoy it! Don’t be alone to sulk and feel sorry for yourself. Once in a while is ok- but just like you need your alone time- you also need people time.
Connect with a group of people who love to support. You don’t have to be local to connect with a group of like minded souls. We are ALL around the globe! Aaahh- I have just the group! Click here to connectwith our inner circle, they are amazing and awesome.
Treat yo’self. Get the massage. Buy the new comfy, luxury sweater. Get your hair and nails did. Grab a new planner or something to HELP you to start turning your brain back on. Think about the future. Visualize, what you want and how you want to feel. Sleep.
After you’ve done some or all of the above and have ALLOWED yourself the time to simmer in your sadness- its time to start re-entering the world. And its just that simple, and just that hard. At some point- we need to return to gratitude. Life might not feel great right now, but what can you be grateful for? Start with a list, then expand on that.
When faced with your family or an awkward work christmas party- approach it from a space of gratitude. Start with the obvious. You have a family to sit and eat dinner with. You have a job which allows you to do x,y,z. You have that new luxury comfy sweater and money to get your hair did. Rub some peppermint oil on your temples, put on some red lipstick, drink a glass of champagne and meditate (for only 5 minutes) in the morning. Your future self will thank you 🙂
Join us for the first round of Desire Map workshops of 2016! We will get to the core of your gratitude, find and define your CDF’s (core desired feelings) then learn how to incorporate them into our daily lives. This life-changing work starts in February and I’m holding space for YOU. Grab your spot here.
First of all, who doesn’t love Tina Turner? The timeless music icon is known not only for her singing, musicality and killer legs– but also for her work as a humanitarian. She is a longtime Buddhist and this ‘Peace Mantra’ sung by her is something soothing and calming to start your day with. She sings the Sanskrit Mantra Sarvesham, its actually thought as a Hindu tune.
What is a mantra?
A mantra is known as an “instrument of the mind”, a powerful vibration or sound you can use to repeat over and over again and bring you into a deep state of meditation. You can use or do a mantra anywhere, to collect your thoughts; to start your day, and even to calm in a stressful situation. One of my favorite and most simple mantras: I am. This mantra has brought me so much clarity, and continues to change over the years.
The word mantra, actually has two different parts. Man: which is the sanskrit word for mind; and tra, which is the root word for instrument.
Listen as Tina sings this beautiful mantra. Comment below: what is your personal mantra? Or what mantra have you been inspired to create?
Originally posted from the Sapphire Soul blog, October 2013
You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you are too busy; then you should sit for an hour. ~Zen saying~
I never knew the power of being still until I tried it. There are so many things in life we shy away from and don’t try, out of fear. People have all kinds of fears for all kinds of reasons. Fear is the ego’s friend, and prevents you from being in touch and becoming your truest self. The choices we make everyday stem from 2 roots: Fear or love. Some are afraid of failure. Of rejection. Of the unknown. Some people are afraid of trying something new, simply because they might not know how to do it right. I always used to think meditation was for old monks, who sit on top of mountains. I never thought I had time for meditation.
Who has time to sit still in a room?
I could be cleaning the fridge, or grocery shopping, or laundry, blah, blah, blah. I have been busy my entire life.
It’s not an excuse to get out of doing things- its my reality. I have so many things I want to do or I think I must do, that if I miss something- it really is because I’m busy with something else! A trick I’ve learned along with meditation is prioritization. In the big picture I have to ask myself daily–what really is important: making sure my kitchen floor is clean, or spending that time painting with my daughter. What will she remember? What will have the biggest impact? I’ve had to learn to let go of many things I want done or should be done, to do things that really matter.
Meditation has helped me clean things up a bit.Even now, it doesn’t just happen naturally for me.
Even after I’ve done it for some time, I wouldn’t say its a habit for me. I have to schedule it in, much like people have to schedule in working out. If you don’t hold yourself accountable and make time for it, it ain’t happenin’. It’s crazy- because meditation is like working out and getting a massage- in your head, all at the same time. I know that makes no sense- but when you finally make time for it, you come out feeling a little more clear, a little more clean, a little more rested and refreshed, and a little less stressed. You might even feel as though you have more energy.
The problem- is that many people shy away from it, because it’s foreign. Or, they think that they won’t do it “right.” Here’s the thing- you can’t do it wrong. It’s impossible. Once you start- it’s one of the easiest and most beneficial ways for you to put yourself on the right track, in every aspect of your life. If you are a person who has maybe thought that meditating sounds cool, but you won’t be able to do it “right”, then I’d like you to read on.
Don’t worry if your brain won’t turn off or feel too wide awake. Don’t worry if you feel sleepy. If you fall asleep the first few times, so what? Your body is telling you that you need a nap! Don’t force anything, just be. Don’t even think of or bother trying to see lights.The key is to relax, allow thoughts to flow, let things unfold, breathe. Try these techniques and tips. Experiment and go back to what you feel works for you.
Start with and always go back to the breath. Listen to the pattern of your own breathing.
Pick one or two techniques- choosing too many during a session will take you away from the purpose, which is to just be present.
Meditation can occur, even when your mind is chattering. It’s tricky, but with practice- eventually you will get to the place where you are aware of your thoughts, but they drift into the background- then, your underlying layers and thoughts come up front and center.
Mantra? Music? Nature sounds? Silence? There are apps out there and recorded meditations to listen to that can be very helpful, especially for a beginner. I kind of like the guided meditations personally, they help me focus and stay quiet. Plus they are timed, so I know how much time has passed.
You know who has a great sexy, creative meditation? Elena Lipson. I dig her and her stuff, check her out and sign up to get a freebie!
It’s normal to feel irritated, or sad, angry, etc. Meditation can stir up a lot of emotions.Just know it’s part of the process, unveiling the layers and thoughts that make us unhappy- so that we can clear them out, and bring forth happiness. Make the space for those unpleasant emotions, then think later of why it is coming up, what it is telling you. Don’t try to make it go away- it will dissipate on its own.
Meditation 101: schedule it. I’m a morning meditator. Put it in your calendar, and hold yourself accountable. Sit in a quiet room (dark or light, up to you). Have your music or guided meditation all cued up if that’s what you choose. Be in comfortable clothes, keep a blanket nearby (I hate being cold). Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Just be. For at least 20 minutes. For beginners, that’s all you need to do.
There is no right and no wrong. The only thing you need to do, is make the time for it. Then sit.
I heard once that praying is asking for something and meditating is listening for something.Makes sense to me- I often pray and ask for so many things. Now I’m learning to harness my own power, it’s as simple as mind over matter.
Have a great meditation tip that works for you? I’d love to hear about it! Please comment below!